Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
