I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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