Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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