I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't deserve a penis
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
