even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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