he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
