I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
