at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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