I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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