mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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