Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
