oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
