i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
