She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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