Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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