what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
