Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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