Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
