Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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