i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
