My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
