If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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