You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We are two peas in an std pod
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
