I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
