worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
as a side note pls kill me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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