i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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