I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
