I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
