The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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