____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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