I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
