There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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