You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
