dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think your dad took our porno
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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