So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
