After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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