YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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