dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
