I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
