this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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