That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's always time for handjobs
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
