At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
