How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
