i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
