So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
