The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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