Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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