I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
