she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
