um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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